She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So much rum. So many feels.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
