yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
