Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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