so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
