i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
