I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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