How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
