it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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