It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
