he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
