Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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