He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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