So drunk, too bad you don't want this
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You took a bar mat shot.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
