Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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