I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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