Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
