I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
MIDGETS
????
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
