all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
