I don't think brook has ever known best
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
