He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize