yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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