i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
