the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
