if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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