Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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