He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
