What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
