i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
