it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
