come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
