i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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