So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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