he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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