Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Operation Purity has been aborted
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
