She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
