I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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