I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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