i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
