I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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