Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Umm I'm too high to move.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
