Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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