All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
