Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
