3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
