and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
