I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
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Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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