i think my tv is drunk
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
