I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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