A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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