Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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