dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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