im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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