I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
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we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
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Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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