...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
only you would photoshop your dick
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
