I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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