I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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