I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
