so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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